When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
