This is not my ceiling
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
