You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
