I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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