maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
