Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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