Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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