JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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