You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
