girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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