it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
