you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
