so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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