pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
