Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
