sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
