You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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