i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
