dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
