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• (616): View more from Michigan

  David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian

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• (415): View more from California

  Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.

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• (516): View more from New York

  The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.

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• (510): View more from California

  how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  We were licking ciroc off the poker table

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• (254): View more from Texas

  It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.

  (214): View more from Texas

  You need to calm down.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off

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• (996): View more from

  The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant

  (996): View more from

  This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  He's on the porch naked. Help.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.

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• (310): View more from California

  If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top

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