I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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