So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
