I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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