does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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