But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
