Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
