I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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