Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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