It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
