But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
