...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
