just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
