he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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