I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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