He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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