I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
