Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
