Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Randomize
