Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
