Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i was born a porn star she said
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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