Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I think my moral compass just broke
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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