I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
We're not piercing ourselves today.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
