1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
