she was so not down for the gang bang
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
