It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
