I'm passing your future prison.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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