Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You took a bar mat shot.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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