dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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