Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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