the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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