We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
